-----
An overview of today's content:
- How expectations can send you into a tailspin and how to avoid severe disappointment when expectations are not met
- Ground yourself in reality to avoid anxiety
- A message on joy from Elizabeth
-----
Mindset: In many cases, it’s best to find the Goldilocks zone of expectations - not too little, not too much
Expectations are an important tool that we can leverage to motivate us towards some goal in the external world. But expectations also have major downsides.
- Too low of expectations can leave you with a gloomy view of the world.
- Too high of expectations can leave you severely disappointed, with waves of anxiety and hopelessness following in its wake.
It’s an art to find that balance and the ideal amount of expectations for a given situation. We discuss this in more depth and with practical examples in the article below 👇🏼
Mindset: Much suffering comes from focusing on what is outside of your control
From one of the great philosophers of history, this quote encapsulates where we all tend to create so much suffering for ourselves.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca
The bottom line is...
We live in an infinitely complex world.
We tend to overly focus on what is not in our control, while we underestimate the power to take actions on those things that are within our control.
We drain our energy worrying about what is not in our control or what has yet to come, pulling us away from living and taking action in the present.
To reduce suffering, we must be vigilant to separate that which is outside of our control and that which is under our control. And then, to focus firmly on the latter, which is the only place our efforts will make any difference at all.
Read more in Principle 5 from our latest book, The 17 Principles To Live Well & Be Well. You can get your copy at wellelifestyle.com
A final message on joy from Elizabeth
Hi everyone,
Elizabeth here, Co-Founder of Welle Lifestyle. Having been a life coach and child development specialist for over 30 years, and having faced my own set of severe traumas throughout my life, one thing I know for sure is this:
You are in charge of your own happiness. Focus on the events and people that bring you joy.
This isn’t some fluffy hopeful concept either. This is science and in the human brain, it all starts with the Reticular Activating System (RAS).
The RAS helps to filter out important messages, but the filter is so much a function of our own beliefs. The RAS is your filter for shaping what you will see in the world, which is largely based on your past experiences and beliefs.
If all you see is problems and believe you can’t overcome them, then all you will see is more problems and more excuses for why you can’t create a solution. Your limiting beliefs will grow like a wildfire.
But if you focus on your goals, if you write them down and visualize them, you are priming your brain to find strategies for achieving your goals.
The same goes with people.
The people you surround yourself with will change your lens of the world in one way or the other. Either into more action or more complaining. More positivity and hope or more negativity and despair. Choose who you surround yourself with carefully.
A quote from George Washington really sums it up well: “It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.”
Looking to live better? Get our latest book.
There is no singular way to live well. For each of us, living well will look at least somewhat different. But there are universal principles, passed down from varying cultures, traditions and generations that we all can apply.
This book takes from those traditions, philosophies and approaches to living well and distills it down into 17 distinct principles. These are the universal rules to a life well lived.
I Want The Book!
----------------
Looking to subscribe to this weekly newsletter, where we deliver strategies and wisdom for living well? Click here.
Plus, see all previous newsletters here.